I’m obsessed with mindset shifts that can make me a better storyteller. Not exactly ‘do X for Y outcome’ type of things, but more ‘hey try thinking about it in this way and see what happens.’ Recently, one particular shift has made a big difference in how I view story structure: the idea of Promises and Payoffs. How good stories feel earned.

Last week, Brandon Sanderson released the 5th Stormlight novel (the thing is a brick). I’m a proud propagandist of his YouTube collection of lessons on storytelling and creative writing, and seeing that new book on the shelf prompted me to go back to them. One, in particular, has stuck with me in all the different styles of writing I do. From writing this newsletter, to writing with clients, to writing fiction, this one concept has changed how I frame everything.

Let me walk you through the example Sando uses:

At the end of The Battle of Helm’s Deep in Lord of the Rings, the keep is being overrun. Aragorn and Theoden look defeated. You can feel hope sputtering out. Then, as the sun rises, Gandalf appears on a distant hill with an army to save the day.

But the brilliance of the scene actually comes in the setup some 10 minutes prior, when Gandalf tells Aragorn:

“Look to my coming at first light on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the east.”

This one line changes the objective for the characters. It goes from ‘We must win this fight outright’ to ‘we must survive until day five.’

Effectively, Gandalf makes a Promise both to Aragorn AND to you, the Viewer. Put yourself in the Viewer’s shoes. Without this one line, the scene would, at best, feel like they got lucky. Like they didn’t actually earn the win. You’d feel cheated. You were promised a fight to the death but that’s not what you got! Instead, some dude comes in at the last minute to save the day. 

Without that one line, the scene becomes a Deus Ex Machina – a ‘previously unforeseen event, ability, or character outside the story suddenly appearing to save the day.’ People hate deus ex machina. They feel gimmicky and fake.

Instead, with the line, the Viewer knows Gandalf said he’d come back. But the situation is dire. Will he show up? Even if he does, will it be too late? The film does a great job of making Aragorn and co earn the Payoff. They're taken to the brink. Then Gandalf appears on that hill, and the audience goes wild. The story “pays off” its promise.

It also plays the other way. If you make the wrong promise, your audience won’t leave satisfied no matter how well you tell the rest of the story. In the fun of oversimplifying, look at these two scenes:

SCENE 1

• Battle begins – the implied Promise is that this is a fight until the last person standing.

• Things go real bad for the good guys.

• Things get even worse for the good guys.

• Wizard miraculously shows up to save the day.

• Good guys win.

It’s… eh. Nothing special here.

SCENE 2

• Promise is explicitly stated – survive five days, and I will return with help.

• Battle begins.

• Things go real bad for the good guys.

• Things get even worse for the good guys.

• At the start of day five, when the situation is at its bleakest, the wizard returns.

• Good guys win.

Now we’re onto something.

I especially like the idea of Promises and Payoffs at the scene level like this. It gives you a lens to step back and analyze what expectations you’re setting for your Reader. Ask yourself – What Promise did I make? Are we making progress toward those Promises? Does the story pay off that Promise?

This is what people often mean, I think, when they say a story doesn’t quite do it for them. Somewhere along the way, the Promises made weren’t kept. This is why good stories feel earned.

Have an awesome weekend,

Nathan

PS. Thank you to everyone who reached out the last couple weeks with publishing industry connections. I got to speak with many of you from trad pub to indie, and I couldn’t be more thankful. The manuscript is in the hands of a few excellent literary agents who specialize in adult fantasy novels, so we’ll see what happens.

PPS. This is the full scene from above.

Trivia — A Sentence I Wish I Wrote

I think there’s some truth to this. What novel does it come from? Tap your best guess.